


The Seven Deadly Sins Series

by Cawerkuu



Category: Junjou Romantica, Sekai-ichi Hatsukoi
Genre: Accidental Relationship, Alpha/Omega, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Vampire, Beaches, Boys In Love, Depression, Dorks, Dreams, Dreamscapes, Drunken Confessions, Dysfunctional Family, Exes, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Flirting, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Money, Multi, Post-Break Up, Requited Unrequited Love, Revenge, Sad, Sex Addiction, Song: Burn (Hamilton), Tennis, Volleyball
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-06 06:15:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19056883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cawerkuu/pseuds/Cawerkuu
Summary: In Christianity, there is a belief that each human can be victim to the seven main sins. Lust, gluttony, greed, sloth, wrath, envy, and pride is what each human seems to struggle with.Cawerkuu wishes to show how love between two dorks, although loveable ones, in new universe that you may be a bit shocked by over the course of seven weeks.





	The Seven Deadly Sins Series

**Author's Note:**

> > Lust  
> Gluttony  
> Greed   
> Sloth  
> Wrath  
> Envy   
> Pride

Ritsu isn’t normal, that itch underneath his skin is a constant reminder of that. The way he yearns for it and almost needs it like he needs water and food and air. It’s really stupid and ridiculous and he hates himself for it. He hates himself even more knowing how desperately he wants to give into it. 

He tries to breathe in, the cold air bubbling and spreading inside his lungs. He looks over at the barely-lit hotel, remembering the countless times he’s let himself fall into the trap of a handsome man pinning him down into the dirty sheets of the cheap hotel, smelling his rouchey cologne on him. He gives into the addiction, taking and taking and taking without regret. It’s weird and it’s wrong, he knows it better than anyone with how many times he’s woken up in an empty bed with an aching bum afterwards. 

He has to force himself to walk past the hotel and not call one of his old hook-ups. He vaguely is proud of himself for deleting their numbers early on, even if it was one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do. He felt so stupid that day, his thumb shaking and tears flowing down his flushed cheeks as he deleted each number. It was the beginning of healing, at least that’s what his therapist said. 

He looks down at the ground, hearing the crunch of his shoe meeting the snow on the ground. His mind is a bit hazy but he manages to refocus his mind. He remembers where he really was headed, even if his head was clouded with a never-ending need. 

His work. He needs to make it to work. Looking up through the winter air, he spots the familiar tall building, surrounded by people in long, heavy coats hurrying to enter in the gateway. Ritsu can’t relate. He dreads work every single day. He tries to remember how his normal social life twisted and curved into a regrettable committed relationship with books and people who look at him as if they’re disgusted with the very sight of him, as if they can’t stand to be near him a second longer. 

He wonders and wonders as he slowly, very sluggishly approaches the white entryway. Perhaps it would have been smarter to wear a coat instead of a hoodie, he grabbed his scarf today but that doesn’t help much with his freezing hands shoved in his thin jean pockets. Maybe he’ll get sick and they’ll fire him. That would be nice. 

He knows everyone wishes they would fire him. There are people who don’t voice it but he can tell with their averting gazes and tensed shoulders. Sometimes, he’ll overhear them when he gets up from his desk to get a drink from the breakroom. How they chat and giggle and make fun of his struggle that he has to fight everyday, but he supposes its always been that way.

Others don’t seem to have that sense of mercy. They’re not afraid to voice their distaste for him. He’s disgusting, a freak, a sinner, he’s been called it all by them. His boss likes to bring it up quite regularly too, reminding him of what a mess he really is, how he’s undeserving of his job. His therapist says he should report it to the higher-ups, that it’s an abuse of power, but he deserves it. If he could just keep it in his pants like a normal person, it wouldn't have been a problem. 

But  _ no _ , he had to be a stupid addict. An addict to  _ sex _ no less. When he explained that to his work when requesting medical time off, they laughed at them, thinking he was telling some dark joke. When they finally realized he wasn't joining in their crowd of laughter, their eyes were so wide. It was almost comical the way their faces changed drastically. He almost let out a chuckle when he registered it but then he saw the clear glare of disgust and havoc in their eyes, making him fear for his life almost. They ended up giving him the time off for rehab but they were _not_ happy.

It's because of that, that everyone knows his darkest, deepest secret. It's almost sickening how people can take one ascept of his life and make that all he is. He's not allowed any real freedoms compared to his co-workers. They don't let him in charge of any projects anymore, go somewhere without someone with him, and how they're always trying to dig into his personal life. He's even caught someone going through his laptop once!

But again, he deserves it for being a disgusting addict. He knows that. 

"You can't fire me!" He hears his boss scream the moment he steps foot in their office. He blinks slowly, confused by the words. He's being fired? For what?

"Actually, I can. I'm your boss, remember?" Isaka said with that usually unnerving smile on his face, waving his finger back and forth scoldingly. Clicking his tongue, he continued. "I've been made aware of some actions and remarks you made towards your employees. Harassment will  _ not _ be tolerated in my company, understood? You're lucky I let you off at a mere firing and don't head to the police with this evidence I have, really!"

" _ Harassment _ ? What in the world are you going on about? I've never did anything!" His boss declared, defending himself against the accusations. 

"Discrimination based mental health is nothing to you? Name-calling and abuse of authority to demean someone is  _ nothing  _ to you?" Isaka glared, gritting his teeth. "This behavior is  _ unacceptable _ !"

"But I didn't do it! Whoever told you is lying!" 

"Really now? I told you I have evidence and it's really overwhelming." Isaka said, not even bothered by the whining of Ritsu's boss. Well, Ritsu's former boss now. "Now  _ leave _ before I call security. Your stuff is already packed and ready to go for you!" 

His boss huffed with his face as red as Ritsu's scarf that was draped around his shoulders. Grabbing his taped-up box, he shuffled through the crowd, making sure to bump into Ritsu especially. Even though Ritsu  _ knew  _ he didn't speak a word to Isaka or his superiors, his boss didn't. Oh boy, he was  _ angry. _

"You'll regret this, the lot of you! You too, Ritsu Onodera!" He called back, making Ritsu tense at the threat. 

"Oh no we won't, trust me!" Isaka laughed with his hands on his hips. "Now, that was a sight, wasn't it? I never knew he could yell so loud and annoyingly!" 

Ritsu blinked, still have not speaking a word since entering the office. What was going on? He didn't tell them and Isaka definitely seemed to be referring to him, so how -

"Now everyone," Isaka suddenly clapped his hands together with a sparkle in his eyes. Oh no, that wasn't good. "Please welcome your new boss - Takano Masamune!" 

He knows that name. He recognizes it immediately and he wants to cry on the spot. His gaze is sharpen, seeing all the little details of the handsome, confident, and stoic man. The way his dark hair falls perfectly against his ivory skin, the comparison making him look like some kind of model and the way he looks so self-assured and composed makes Ritsu's knees almost go weak but no, he has to stay calm and rational. He can't let himself give into the itching want, no, the  _ need _ that he continues to deny and deny it. 

Takano catches his eye and Ritsu can't help but stiffen beneath his narrowed gaze. Ritsu wants to the floor to open up and eat him alive. God, he would prefer any sort of pain or torture compared to this. He can see the hint of pain in those hazel eyes before Takano snaps his gaze elsewhere. 

God, please, just kill him. Why did this have to happen? He hates himself even more now. How could he hurt him so badly? 

"So work well and make some bucks or you'll be fired just like Hirojime!" Isaka laughed, giving Takano a pat on the shoulder before leaving with his stupid money-eating grin. "Good luck~!"

Ritsu thinks he's suffocating, stood bolted to the ground where he stands. He wants to run away, far from here where Takano stands and looks over him with a curious, skeptical gaze. 

"Listen up," Takano barks out, snapping Ritsu from his spiraling hatred. He almost wishes he hadn't. God, he's such a fuck-up. "No more crap, we're gonna do this right and better and harder than before. It will be better than what you've been producing. Get to your desk, it's time to finally get something right!"

Ritsu flinched again, being the last one to get to his desk. God, why was he so slow? He's always messing up. 

It's going to be a tough day, more like a tough life really.

 

* * *

 

He worked and worked and worked. His lips almost felt numb from how much he was talking, working with his authors to try and improve their stories and writing styles. He really usually never talks, always being one for being meek and for little words. 

He felt stressed. He was never really good with change, he thinks. Stress isn't good, certainly not this amount. This is different, it's new and strange and he's never been expected of so much. Takano already had asked him about his authors and warned him about improving his skills as an editor because he was 'slacking'. He knew he would be booted ASAP if he didn't change up his method soon. 

He was stuck though. Flipping through his author's manuscript, it seemed good. He would give it the okay and allowed his author to carry on but now he's second-guessing himself. Is this actually bad? Is he missing something? 

He breathes in a shaky breath. It's dark outside and he's growing restless. He feels like the burden of world is on him yet he knows it's not.

"What are you still doing here?" Takano asks, almost bitterly, snapping Ritsu out of his dark mind. He looks up into those hazel eyes he used to spend hours looking into only to find his fingers shaking against the keys of his laptop. 

"I-I'm doing what I was told to, s-sir." Oh, this is so not good. He can't be near Takano. It's bad! He feels himself subconsciously rubbing his thighs against each other, trying to calm himself down. The smell of his scent was so intoxicating but also heartbreaking. "W-working and fixing my, uh, method." 

Takano glances from Ritsu to the screen of his laptop skeptically. 

"So you need to stay until what, midnight?" Takano asked, raising his brows confused. 

"I - um, yeah. W-what I usually do." Ritsu looks down at his laptop. He tries to focus his mind on writing back his author who had sent him a concerned email, stating how this was the longest he's taken to get back to her about her manuscript. He feels sorry that she has a horrible editor like him. 

"God and here I thought you were already an idiot when I dated you. No wonder you were always restless!" Takano sighs heavily, shaking his head in disbelief. He yanks the laptop forward and shuts it, glaring down at the brunette. "You're going to kill yourself at this rate. Don't be stupid, Ritsu."

His name. 

Takano said  _ his  _ name. 

The realisation almost makes the world slow down for Ritsu, making his heart hum with delight and his stomach twisted up in knots from the guilt that slowly but surely eats him alive like a diseased rat. He feels his shoulders tense, glancing up at Takano from underneath his messy bangs. He bites his lip. This isn't good.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Get up, you idiot. Grab your coat and bag too!" Takano scoffs, waiting on him silently. Ritsu almost thinks he's dreaming. How can Takano not hate every part of him? Why hasn't he fired him yet? 

He gulps and decides not to ask questions that will only anger Takano. Maybe another day when he gathers the disappearing courage. He scrambles from his chair and grabs his suitcase, zipping open and slipping his laptop and cords inside. Takano waits, not saying a word to Ritsu. He's not sure if that's helpful or not to ease his never-ending anxiety.

"Your coat." Takano reminds him just as Ritsu takes a step forward from his desk. 

"Oh, I, um, didn't wear one. Just my hoodie and scarf and that." Ritsu shrugs, trying to brush it off. He shouldn't worry about Ritsu. He was a lost cause anyways. 

"You  _ what _ ?!" Takano says, baffled. 

Ritsu blinks, nodding his head. Why does he care? He shouldn't.

"Oh my god," Takano groans. "You're more of an idiot than I thought!"

Ritsu just shrugs again.

"Come on already. The last train is gonna run sooner rather than later." Takano walked forward, his head held high and gaze narrowed. Ritsu didn't want to fight so he just followed along to the train station silently.

 

* * *

 

 

They don't talk. Ritsu is glad Takano is professional as can be despite their personal history. Sometimes, he wants to drop on his knees and begged for his forgiveness but he can't. It's far too inappropriate, especially when they're both currently sat with twenty other people, discussing how well his author's latest installment sold. Not to mention, he's sure Takano would punch him in the jaw for it. 

He's always been an easily irritated guy, he thinks.

"Onodera is not doing enough to improve his author's work!" Someone from their department finally speaks up after the last ten minutes of arguing between sectors about the author's performance. "It's strange we even put him in charge of an erotic work in the first place!"

" _ Excuse me _ ?" Takano's voice lowers, threatening and Ritsu would bet if he looked up, his gaze would be one of the few that kills. "Are you questioning my ability as your boss to appropriately place assignments with my employees?" 

"No, not at all! I'm questioning  _ his  _ ability." The co-worker says frantically, not wanting to get it mixed-up. "I just think the author could have done better if someone else unlike  _ him _ was her editor is all."

"Someone like him? What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He wonders if he's heard the rumors, if he knows why Ritsu is always allowed to leave at eight o'clock sharp on Fridays no matter the situation the department is in. He hopes not. Takano doesn't need to know that, he's already hurt him enough. 

"Well, I think it's rather inappropriate to place a  _ sexual freak  _ like him in charge of an erotic! Isn't this just feeding his sex addiction?!" The co-workers huffs, putting out every word that Ritsu never wanted to be reminded of. Much less the words he never wanted Takano to be the victim of hearing. 

The room falls silent, he pretends not to notice the intake of breath from Takano. He averts his eyes when Takano starts to tense his body, his brow furrows as something clicks together in his hazel eyes. He doesn't want to know. 

His therapist thinks he needs to talk to Takano, tell him why. Sometimes he wants to tell her to fuck off but he doesn't. He's never been one for bravery. 

"What did I say about discrimination, hmm?" Isaka clicks his tongue, sitting at the end of the table with an evil but ever polite smile that's terrifying. The co-worker tenses and frowns. 

"I was just saying what's true. What's best for the company, isn't that what you want? To make even more money?" 

"Wow, am I merely a money-making demon?" Isaka rests his face in his hands, smiling almost child-like. The answer ' _ yes _ ' seems to fall across the room but no one dares speaks the answer. "My, my! How rude, all of you!"

Ritsu opens his mouth, but he can't find his voice. The situation is all too familiar and all too terrifying for him. He can feel the racing of his heart, the way his eyes dart frantically around at the exits, and the sweat that gathering on his hands. He tries to remember what his therapist said to do during times like these, how to breathe to calm his nerves, but that lesson is a little hazy. It was the day he was exhausted to the bone, where he was just half-haphazardly agreeing with her just to get the stupid appointment over. 

"Oh, Onodera, something to say?" Isaka asks, his eyes curious and expecting. He feels himself choke on air, feeling his chest tighten with the lack of oxygen entering his lungs.

"I need to be excused." Ritsu jumps from his seat, fleeing away without his files or bag. He's pretty stupid like that. All he can think is ' _ get out _ ' and that's all his body does on auto-pilot really.

He finds himself slamming the door to the bathroom wide open, rushing to the sink. He hurries to turn the tab, gathering the rushing water with his cupped hands, and slams it against his face, even if it hurts a little. It's cold and freshening. He presumes that's what he needs right now. 

He needs to gather himself, remember where he is and who he is. He's lost himself, he's sure of that. Looking into the mirror, he can see that clearly. He doesn't recognize the crying man before him with dark bags, a thin body, and shaking limbs. He looks so pale, sickly so and his eyes are dark, as if there's no spark of a will to live in them left. He looks horrible, beyond what used to reside with Ritsu Onodera.

He jumps when he hears the door open again, flincing further when he sees Takano lock eyes with him in the mirror. He looks down at the faucet, completely mortified for Takano to see him so weak and frail. 

"That's why, isn't it?" Takano says slowly, the sense of understanding coating his tone. Ritsu hates that. He doesn't want him to understand, he wants him to be left in the dark. "That day with  _ him _ …"

"Leave!" Ritsu manages to protest, for the first time in a long time. His throat almost feels sore with the yell, not used to Ritsu even making sounds at this point. Where did he lose himself? 

"No!" Takano launches further, pressing himself against Ritsu. He grabs Ritsu's chin, lifting it to face the mirror and they lock eyes. He wants to look away - God, he does - but he can't, not with the complexity of emotions swimming in Takano's eyes, begging for some sort of clarification but they know. They both know he knows the truth, the real secret of Ritsu Onodera. "Look at yourself Ritsu! You look like you're about to collapse any second, as if you're on death's door!"

"Well, maybe I deserve that! Didn't you hear a word he said?! I'm a  _ freak _ !" He squeezes his eyes close, he doesn't want to look at himself any longer. The bubbling want to throw up only makes him want to leave longer. Takano's warm presence pressed against him isn't really helping. He remembers how this used to be a common occurrence for them, something loving and sweet with the Takano used to wrap his arms around Ritsu's shorter body. 

Now, it's just a reminder of a bittersweet past. A past that Ritsu wishes he would have made the right choices in to lead himself to the path he desires now but he knows the reality better than anyone. He did horrible things and he took too long to realize his sins. 

"Ritsu, he also said you're a sex addict." Takano whispers quietly all of a sudden, as if they weren't just in a screaming match. It sends something buzzing down Ritsu's spine but he chooses to ignore it, push it away with all his might. "Tell me  _ for once _ , is it true? Be honest, unlike how you were then."

He knows what he means. He remembers the day he was sitting in the bed, his lower back aching and tears streaming down his face. How the dirty sheets of the hotel were casted lazily over his naked body, how he shook against the stinky mattress, and how he couldn't look up and meet Takano's angry eyes. He replays the moment all the time, taking in the harsh but deserving words that the ravenette threw at him then. Just like now, Takano had asked  _ why _ and had begged him to be  _ honest  _ with him but even Ritsu didn't know, not back then. 

The brunette hates how he can feel Takano's gentle body crowding over his and he's shaking too, afraid of the word to come from his former lover's mouth. He doesn't know what's right anymore. The reason he never tried to reconnect with Takano, why he never tried to explain himself to the man once he realized the truth a few months after the break-up was to protect him, keep him far away from Ritsu's own destruction.

"Yes." He finds himself saying, slowly opening his eyes but not without more tears there. His breaths are shallow and his heart is racing and right now? He's not sure of anything. When has he ever?

Takano draws them closer, squeezing them together lightly. The feeling shouldn't be so heart-warming but Ritsu can't help it if his heart still yearns and soars for the man behind him. Gentle feather-soft fingers dance across his jawline, he doesn't make any sort of move to stop them. 

_ "Do you still love me?"  _

Ritsu thinks and thinks and thinks. Again, what's the right decision? He should be pushing Takano away, not breathing the air of truth to him just like he did that night in the hotel room but he can't deny him. He deserves the truth, he can hear the voice of his therapist ringing in his ears. She's always been pretty helpful and wise.

"Yes." He breathes, feeling his head get lifted and his hands sweat at the feeling of hot breaths puffing against Ritsu's pale, probably cold lips. He remembers the sweet pecks, the heated but loving kisses, the sluggish ones, he remembers all of Takano's kisses. How could he not? It was the first time in his life he felt loved by a man he was near. 

"Ritsu, can I kiss you?" 

He doesn't bother to answer. He just closes his eyes, tears spilling down his glossy cheeks. Takano seems to get the picture though, pressing his frantic and miracle-working lips against him. 

For the first time in half a year, he feels alive again. Even when he was with Takano, he felt so cold and dull then, having to hide every question and worry of ' _w_ _ hat's wrong with me?'  _ from him but now, here he stands, honest and vulnerable. The thing he fears now - intimacy - seems to take over with the way Takano gentle fingertips dance over his flushing, wet cheeks and how he kisses him so softly but longing that he can't help feel like an open-book that Takano can read in a heartbeat. 

It feels like it lasts long but it really doesn't. The flush of the toilet makes them jump away, seeing the confused look of the s ecretary from the lobby looking accusingly back at them. He rolls his eyes and just goes to wash his hands, mumbling something about ' _ I wish I had a love like that _ .'

 

* * *

 

He's not sure how it happens or why or how he manages really but it just does. 

"How long has it been since you had sex Ritsu?" His therapist, cheery and chipper as usual, asks him one day at an appointment. He's not good at math but he remembers the date. He shrugs.

"Since June twenty-fifth?" He watches his therapist's eyes light up, her smile going wide. 

"Ritsu! That's six months, you realize!" Her voice is filled with overwhelming glee and relief. He can tell after seeing her for a while. "I told you that you should try for three months, not half a year! The idea isn't to abstain from sex, remember?"

"I know, I'm just…" He tries to find the words to articulate his feeling, the complexity of his relationship with sex and the overwhelming fear he feels in the presence of men or being with a laptop alone. His gaze flickers over to the side, feeling the squeeze his hand, an encouraging familiar one.

He meets Takano's eyes. He smiles gently with this sense of ' _ it's okay'  _ in his expression that makes Ritsu weak and want to kiss him right then and there but he's even scared of that. It's hard. He's terrified that if he kisses Takano too much one day, he'll break and become that person who doesn't deserve him. Hell, he still doesn't feel like he deserves it after what he did that night.

"I'm not ready." He finds the courage to say, interlocking their fingers. This sense of comfort and safety overwashed him as he sits on the familiar leather couch with his  _ boyfriend _ . The word seems foreign, as if it's wistful dream of his he longs for to be reality. The thing is though, this is his reality. It's still surprises him every morning when he wakes up pressed against Takano's warmer and broader body or he's the clanging of kitchenware and smell of breakfast leaking through the air of their shared apartment. "I need some more time. I feel like...like if I have sex again, I-I'll lose control and hurt him again. I don't ever want to hurt him again, I've done that enough already." 

The therapist smiles at that. The way Takano scoots closer, wrapping his arms around the brunette's thinner shoulders. He can practically hear Takano screaming, ' _ I know what you're saying. You do deserve me, idiot.'  _ The thought makes him smile. 

"Take all the time you need. Sex is good for you in moderation. You need to learn how to trust yourself and be intimate remember? Once you get there, I have faith with continuous therapy and support group meetings, you'll make it." The therapist encourages further, easing his worries and helping him see a lighter side to the future. 

"Okay." Ritsu nods, staying neutral. He wants her to be right but at the same time, he's terrified of himself to even try any of that. 

"Promise you'll try?" Takano says softly, his hazel eyes soft and kind. He really doesn't deserve him. He can't say no to him, never to him.

He doesn't say a word or let out a sound. He just nods silently, noting their time is up. He stands up first, gesturing to the clock with his head to remind them both. 

"Oh, you're right! See you next week then!" His therapist says cheerfully, waving bye to both of them as they exit her office.

* * *

 

 

When they do have sex for the first time since their breakup in a year, they know what's to come. They can work through it together long as they both put in the effort and yearn to be committed to one another. Ritsu has learned it's okay to be intimate with another person, even if it's only Takano. He wants no one else besides Takano.   
  


"Are you sure?" Takano will ask, looking down at the brunette spread out on the soft mattress willingly. The way Ritsu's lips shine with spit and how his entire body is flushing that beautiful shade of rosy will light a fire in him. Something possessive and prideful brewing deep inside him, thinking about the way he can't wait to yank those restricting jeans off of his lover's newly-rounded body and mark his pretty pale neck like he used to. 

"Yeah." Ritsu won't bat an eye or hesitant, simply allow himself to trust again and to be intimate with the man he knows will never cause harm to him. Even after this, he knows he won't give into the itch under his skin. He doesn't need to have sex or watch porn to get what he needs out of life. It's less vibrant and frantic than it was before, he can ignore and realize the things that matter more than a temporary high. Things like Takano and snuggling under the covers with him on a Saturday night while watching Harry Potter & The Prisoner of Azkaban with him wistfully.

Yeah, he'll smile, ignoring the irritating tingle. He knows he's got this.


End file.
